Friday, March 03, 2006

Imagine

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often or don't really know each other) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you!

Yeah, Mr. Fabulous has made me a comment whore. I am somewhat aroused by this...

18 Comments:

Blogger Brad the Gorilla said...

Lady K, my fondest memory is of when you made me 2 dozen pierogi, 2 vats of zupa ogorkowa, 4 dozen golabki, and one colossal sernik. I gobbled everything down, pronounced it "delicious," and asked for more. You were a bit dismayed until I reassured you that all gorillas are bottomless pits when it comes to food.

"Is food all you ever think about, Brad?" you asked.

"No," I said, "I'm also fond of drinks."

9:04 AM  
Blogger Lady K said...

brad ~ if I can translate that recipe, I'm going to try it.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

You SO know what I'm gonna write about....

How could you forget??

Halloween. 2003. Mushrooms.

I don't think I need to say anything more.

But, I will...

I was dressed as a KILLER dom wielding my riding crop, whipping the asses of strangers as I paraded you by on a leash.

Yeah, it was hot.

We ended up at that punk bar in Frisco. You know the one.

We started downing shots of Patron. After about four or five, it all starts to get a bit hazy...

But, I remember well enough.

Sort of.

We met that guy Nicky. Tall. Dark. Handsome. I guess you could say he was a sex fiend.

He said, 'How'd you like to waste some time?'

Next thing you know, we were at his castle and he had me masturbate with a magazine. He had so many devices. You couldn't believe your eyes.

Suddenly, the lights went out. And Nicky started to grind.

The castle started spinning or maybe it was my brain.

I don't know what he did to us. But, our bodies have never been the same.

He showed us no mercy.

He showed us how to grind.

We woke up the next morning, but Nicky wasn't there.

We left him a note, though. On the stairs. We thanked him for the funky time. Left our numbers. Said, 'Call us up, whenever you wanna grind.'

Oh, Nicky.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

come back, nikki, come back!!!!
call me up whenever you wanna
gri-i-i-i-i-i......

God, I SO wanted to do Prince in the day.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

women, START your BATTERIES!!!!!

9:08 PM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

Me too.

Prince was my very first concert. I was in eighth grade. The Purple Rain Tour. Went with my mom.

Sheila E. opened.

It was pretty awesome.

Oooo...Maybe I'll use the PURPLE dildo tonight.

9:44 PM  
Blogger Junebugg said...

Remember our cross-country road trip? Cruising down side roads, bypassing the interstates, so we could see all the sights. How about that hole-in-the wall bar with the bikers and good old boys, where you danced topless on the bar?

Stopping on the side of the road at the fruit stand where we ate plumbs still warm from the sun, the juice dripping down our chins. Getting caught skinny dipping in that farmer's pond and his wife giving us hot peach cobbler and telling us to be careful on the road. Staying in everything from trashy roach motels to rustic B&Bs?

I miss the wind blowing through our hair in that rented BMW 'vert and flashsing the truck drivers. Man, we put a lot miles on that sweet ride. Girl we gotta do that again.

12:24 AM  
Blogger Junebugg said...

Dang, I gotta start proof reading!
~plums~ not plumbs
~flashing~ not flashsing

But we gotta do the road trip. I've got a bag packed and i'm ready to go!

12:26 AM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

Dang, that sounds hot.

Very Thelma and Louise.

Well, without all the guns and erroneous criminal activity.

If you run into Brad Pitt in a cowboy hat, lemme know.

He delivers the best line in that movie:

'I like your wife.'

I STILL need to make me a t-shirt that displays THAT particular one-liner.

8:38 AM  
Blogger Lady K said...

june, is that where we saw that chicken that plays tic-tac-toe and then plays chop sticks on the piano?

strumpet ~ what if I wear a cowboy hat? and boots. and that's it. purple rain is one of my favorite movies, EVER. Sheila E is HAWT.

11:19 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Remember how we met? At 4-H camp. We hated each other initially and all the other girls egged us on to bet about who would be the first to lose their virginity that summer. I spent my time flirting with Gene, the geriatric groundskeeper. You said you met someone you called "Thunder", which I thought was a nickname. Every night you'd go on and on about him. Shit like: "He's so huge. He's so gentle and quiet. He's patient with me and let's me set the pace. I practically choked the first time I took him in my mouth." You never shut up about how great a fuck he was.

I did end up giving my virginity to Gene, in the boat house, after the talent show where you and I dressed up like Hall & Oats and totally stole the show.

And on the last day at camp I finally met "Thunder", and you so earned that $10. Do you still ride horses?

12:13 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

nonny ~ you sick, sick fuck. You promised you wouldn't tell a soul. Don't worry, though, your great dane story is still safe with me. Bitch.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

Hot damn, Lady!

Why, I don't think I'd be able to restrain myself for too long around you in an outfit like that, darlin'!

We would just need to git ourselves a nice length of rope and head on over to the barnyard for a roll in the hay.

5:12 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

strumpet ~ the smell of hay turns me on to this day.

6:48 PM  
Blogger Strumpet said...

*hug*

And that's one of those 'hugs' that is meant to entirely get you hot and bothered.

I SO copped a feel too. But, you liked that, didn't you?

9:08 PM  
Blogger Lady K said...

strumpet ~ ooh, baby-baby, baby-baby, ahhh...shh...push it...

Where are my assless chaps?

9:13 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Are you saying that I am a comment whore? LOL.

Okay, I'll be back...

9:24 PM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Your leaving this up today aren't you? You want more stories don't you? Don't worry, I'll be back, just let me sort through my bag of disgusting memories.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Alkelda the Gleeful said...

Nonny, you are very, very funny. Not that I didn't cringe, of course, but you've got a knack for the punchline.

11:49 AM  

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